Rebuilding My Life

It happens so fast. One day we wake up and so much of our precious time has already passed. I spent a good part of my life hiding in the shadows of pain. Of the mess that everyone around me had created and for some reason I felt I had to fix. Something like taking a trip may seem so trivial to others but to me it was the start of me rebuilding my life.

I had never seen the world outside of New Jersey. It just was not something I could ever do. Being a single parent for so long and then in a relationship that tore me down, taking a trip was only a dream. Some may not understand but the ones that do get it. When my husband and I went to Vegas and then took a day trip to the Grand Canyon I was in awe. I sat and stared at this amazing sight and realized that I was going to start living and do all of the things I dreamed of.

Living is just what we did. As a family. We traveled and everything was new to all of us. The world started to look different to me and I started to see the possibilities before me. I started school, and was determined to become what the world swore I couldn’t.

The good thing about life is there are second chances. Even third and fourth. We mess up we get another try, and we can learn and use what didn’t work the first time. I have been so afraid to open up about my story because I have been so afraid of judgement, but what I have noticed is the only people who judge me admire my courage.

We spend so much time putting each other down instead of building one another up. Recently, telling my story and still holding some of it back I have realized that I am brave and I am a new person. It is an amazing feeling when you can look around and see the new you and new life that you have created when at one point in my life this seemed so far out of reach and completely impossible. Nothing is impossible.

I recently had a moment where I was able to look around at the new people in my life. The new friends that are becoming family and positive relationships. I will not ever forget the old ones as I learned from each and everyone but today as I am still on the path of rebuilding I can say that I am proud of the framework!

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