When Skinny Wasn’t Worth It”

I’ve battled with my body for as long as I can remember.

Not in the gym kind of way. Not in the “I feel bloated today” kind of way. But in the deep, emotional war that happens quietly, in dressing rooms, mirrors, and photo tags you untag yourself from. The kind of war where no matter how many compliments you get, there’s always a voice whispering: Still not good enough.

After years of diets, detox teas, body wraps, and shame, I finally turned to something new: Wegovy.

I didn’t take the decision lightly. I was tired of the up and down, tired of clothes that never fit right, tired of hating pictures of myself, tired of starting over. Wegovy felt like hope in a syringe—an answer I hadn’t tried yet. And in the beginning, it worked. The weight started coming off, and people noticed. My clothes fit differently. Compliments started rolling in. You’d think I’d be happy, right?

But behind those results was a body that felt like it was shutting down. I was nauseous. Sick more days than not. My appetite disappeared, but so did my energy, my patience, and honestly—my joy.

It wasn’t the kind of skinny I imagined. It wasn’t freedom. It was survival mode.

I had prayed for change, but I never asked what kind of change I really needed. Was it physical? Or was it the way I looked at myself? Because here’s the truth: being sick and skinny felt way worse than being healthy and curvy ever did.

There was a moment—laying in bed, too weak to eat, too dizzy to stand—where I thought: If this is what it takes to look “ideal,” I don’t want it. Not like this. Not by hurting the body I’m trying so hard to love.

So, I stopped.

Not everyone will understand that. Some people will say I gave up or let myself go. But the truth is, I’m just learning to let go… of the pressure, the comparisons, the toxic goal of shrinking myself into someone else’s version of beautiful.

I still want to feel good in my skin. But I want to feel healthy, not sick. I want energy, not exhaustion. I want confidence, not compliance. I want to be strong—not just for my mirror, but for my kids, for my purpose, for the life I still have to live.

Wegovy showed me what I thought I wanted. Getting sick showed me what I actually needed: peace. And peace doesn’t come in a number on the scale.

I don’t have it all figured out. I still have insecure days. But for now, I’m choosing grace over guilt, healing over hiding, and health over hollow victories.

If you’re reading this and struggling with your body or wrestling with your worth—I see you. Just don’t forget that loving yourself and changing yourself don’t have to be at war. One can’t truly happen without the other.