I used to think love was supposed to feel like warmth, like safety. But in the relationship that nearly broke me, love felt like fear. It felt like walking on eggshells, like constantly questioning my own worth, like slowly disappearing into someone else’s control. No one wants to talk about the deep sadness that comes with love when in these relationships.
At first, I didn’t see it for what it was. The small criticisms, the isolation from friends and family, the way he made me believe that no one else would ever love me—it all crept in so quietly that by the time I realized how deep I was, I had already lost myself. I wasn’t the strong, independent woman I once was. I was a shell, shrinking myself to avoid his anger, suffocating in a love that wasn’t love at all.
He made me feel like I was nothing. Like my voice didn’t matter. Like my dreams were foolish. I remember staring at my reflection one night and not recognizing the woman looking back at me. My light—my fire, my joy—was gone. He had taken it, piece by piece, until I felt worthless, convinced I had nowhere else to go.
But here’s the thing about losing yourself: you can find your way back. It wasn’t easy. Leaving wasn’t as simple as walking away. It meant unlearning the lies, rebuilding my self-worth from the ground up, and remembering that I was never as weak as he made me feel.
If you’re in that place—if someone has convinced you that you don’t matter, that you have no value outside of them—I need you to hear this: they are lying. You are powerful. You are worthy. You deserve joy, light, and a love that doesn’t make you question your own existence.
I lost my light once, but I got it back. And so can you. 💜
If this resonates with you, or if you need someone to listen, drop a comment or send me a message. You are not alone.
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